Now what? My business is running, my life is finally in semi-balance, and the laundry is caught up… Now what?
A year and a half after my business opened, I found myself feeling bored, looking for more. I was getting involved in the community, my salon books were packed, and my kids were happy. Yet I still felt alone, searching for that next step. I have always had a “go-getter” personality, so it was no surprise that I found myself buried in tasks that did not generate any money and filled my time. Instead of just letting it go and assuming it was my “go-getter” taking over, I knew something was different. I was searching for the more, the more I searched the deeper my depression grew.
Finally, three months of running around, I realized “why”. I just dedicated a year to planning, saving, and heavy lifting to get my salon running, looking, and operating successfully. Now, if you have never owned a business, look back at your wedding. The day after you got married, or arrived home from your honeymoon, did you find yourself slightly depressed?
YES! The honeymoon business stage had worn off! No one told me this would happen! So, like any normal millennial I began researching ways that I could keep myself engaged in my business. I started a blog! I love writing! It’s a complete release for me, and I get to say what I want, yet think about it just enough to make sure I don’t say something in the wrong context. This will be perfect I thought! I can write about what I do, what people can do at home, and throw in some of my life stories! Awesome! Two months in, I was overwhelmed at the thought of taking time, with no interruptions to write. Not only that, but I began resenting being at work because my to do list was a full page by Thursday morning and come Friday afternoon I prefer to unplug.
As I began just going through the motions, my heart grew further and further away from my business, my husband, and my kids. Nothing was making me happy, and the thought of working was nearly driving me insane. I dreaded Monday, knowing I had to start my work week.
As I scrolled aimlessly through facebook, I read my friends post “If you could succeed at anything, and failure wasn’t an option, what would you do?” I began to write my answer, well that’s easy… id live in a log chinked cabin with a couple cows and chickens and write. But then I paused just before pressing send. That wouldn’t take all my time, and no one is going to come have coffee with me that much! What would I really do? I pondered. I can see the cabin, cows, and chickens, but how do I see my time. After a little moment I started to add… volunteer my time, helping businesses develop procedures, marketing, events, and just filling in where they need me to be... and send!
Uff that’s over. About a minute goes by and I think to myself, why am I not living a life that I view as successful right now? Fear? Not knowing how to get there? What does that mean for the business I just started? What would people think? Time started going by and I kept seeing images of my little log chinked cabin and how happy that made me feel, how am I going to get there, I’ve really dug myself into hole this time, if that’s where I wanted to be all along!
I started noticing little nudges from God, a website design here, a coffee conversation there, a client compliment, and finally a referral to be on the Parks Tourism & Economic Development Committee. I thought God had placed me exactly where I needed to be, and this was it. Then, the disappointment, I didn’t get the spot on the committee. “Back to the drawing board” I told my husband. As time started passing, I noticed my to do list shrinking and self-care became a focus, things around me started changing. God, did have me exactly where I was supposed to be all along!
I’m sure we’ve all seen similar questions before, but to be worded in a way that allowed me to paint a picture of what I truly saw as success.
What is that picture for you? Close your eyes…go ahead, finish reading and then close your eyes! What is success to you. When you close your eyes where are you? If you didn’t get paid how would you spend your time?
Realizing this helps more than just today. It helps define you, your present, and your future. This “realizing how you spend your time” thought allows you to clearly see what you need to take to get there and what the result looks like. Unfortunately, we are taught, and live in, a world where life is about how you spend your money, not your time. I’d like to think that moving forward I will be a better time spender, and not money spender.
Have you ever gotten into a car and just drove to the city to grab one thing? I am guilty! I did this frequently! Why? Because I didn’t value my time. Your time is important too, how you spend it, who you spend it with, and where you see your future time. Let’s not forget too, everyone’s time is spent differently! Let’s think before asking someone else, “are you sure you have time for that?” and in return let’s be honest with ourselves “do I want to be spending my time doing that?”
How will you spend your time? What fills your soul? Brings you joy? Makes you want to get up and go?
I believe when we discover this, and start living a life we view as successful, everything else falls into place. Our dirty houses become cleaner, our children start getting devoted time, and our husbands…lets be real they get more of what they want too.
Find what success means to you and let’s discover how to get there together!